I’ve been reading Buddhism for Mothers, by Sarah Napthali, and it’s encouraged me to return to a mindfulness practice. Why? Because I’ve been forgetting to enjoy Oliver. He’ll never be 10 months old again and he’s learning and changing every moment.
Two days ago he’d never blown air purposefully out his mouth and then suddenly he realised that’s what I do to cool his food down and he’s been spending all day practicing- giggling with me as I show him how to do it and then blowing spit bubbles and making funny noises until finally, this morning, he gets it. Now he’ll take that new skill and wrap himself around it until it’s part of him and we’ll forget the time when blowing was the next most important thing to learn.
Being mindful means filling my mind with the present moment instead of with what’s already been or what might be in the future. I’ve been so busy trying to stay on top of catering jobs, blogging, cleaning, cooking, connecting with friends and getting jobs done in the garden that I’ve been missing Oliver, even though he’s always here.
I used to cultivate mindfulness through a dedicated meditation practice. Everyday when I woke up I’d sit crosslegged on my bed and watch my mind. Oliver makes sitting like this impossible, but he doesn’t make mindfulness impossible. Now, when I’m helping Oliver climb the stairs, I try to stay present. With the stairs under my feet, with Oliver’s efforts in my hands, the sun on my back and the crows in my ears. I watch impatience build in my chest and then slowly dissolve. I feel it replaced by a fullness that reaches out and circles us as Oliver pauses to chew on some passionfruit vine.
But what’s mindfulness got to do with apple butter?
A child, in the words of Susan Murphy (a Zen teacher and mother), elongates time til it starts to dissolve.
So does apple butter.
I completely forgot to be mindful when I started making it, but as it cooked and cooked, changing colour so slowly that I didn’t even notice, I finally remembered to notice. I stopped and watched the apple butter, smelled the apple butter, stirred the apple butter. It gave me time to return to the present and I’m a slow learner. I think that’s why I like slow cooking.
Apple butter’s completely new to me. There’s no butter, just apples pretending like butter. They do a good job. I’m hooked. It’s fresh and fragrant beyond it’s cooking time, I don’t know how this can be but it is. It’s lighter and much less sweet than jam- as easy to eat by the spoonful as it is to spread on oatmeal pancakes (I’ll post about these soon) or fold into whipped ricotta and spread on toast.
Kim Boyce’s Apple Butter
- 4 pounds of peeled and cored apples. This requires about 5 pounds whole. Use seconds organic apples. They might be a bit marked but this won’t matter in the slightest.
- The peel from one unwaxed organic orange
- 3 cups apple juice
- 3 cinnamon sticks
- 6 allspice berries
- 6 cloves
- 1/4 cup dark brown sugar
Peel, quarter and core the apples until you have 4 pounds of usable flesh. Keep the peel and cores and juice them in a machine. Using my grinding juicer, these leftovers were enough to make up the 3 cups of juice, but you might need to supplement with some fresh apples if you have a conventional mincing juicer.
Cut each quarter apple into 3 more segments and then cut these crosswise into centimetre (less then 1/2 inch) pieces. Add all this apple to a large, heavy based pot.
Peel the orange with a vegetable peeler, trying not to take any of the pith. Place this along with all the spices into a square of muslin and tie it up. If you don’t have any muslin, that’s okay, you’re just going to have to go fishing in the puree after an hour to find all the spices. Add the spices to the pot along with the brown sugar and the apple juice.
Bring the pot to a solid simmer, stirring to dissolve the sugar and coat all the apple pieces. Cover the pot firmly, turn the heat to medium low, and simmer for an hour, stirring only once or twice to make sure that nothing’s sticking to the bottom of the pot.
After the hour, fish out the spices (pressing the muslin against a plate with a wooden spoon to squeeze out all the spicy juices), cover again, and cook for another hour, stirring the pot every 15 minutes or so to make sure nothing’s sticking. After these two hours, the apples will be mostly broken down and turning a reddish colour.
Continue cooking for another 90 minutes, making sure to check as often as necessary that the puree isn’t sticking to the bottom of the pan. Kim recommends adding up to 1/2 cup of extra water if you are worried the puree might burn. I didn’t find this necessary, but it will depend on how juicy your apples are to begin with.
After 3 1/2 hours, your apples will be thick like jam, red brown in colour and incredibly fragrant. I couldn’t take a photo of this stage as the day had disappeared once the apple butter finished. Here’s it looking gorgeous in its jar. Kim says it lasts 2 weeks, which isn’t very long, but I’m sure we’ll use it up way before that anyway.
Never heard of apple before…I love cooked/stewed apples – so, will have to give this a try…It’s so true that one has to enjoy the present as that moment will never come back again.. but as humans we all forget, don’t we? Enjoy ever second with Oliver…beautifully written post…
-Shilpa
Hi Shilpa, nice to see you here, and I’m so glad you enjoyed the post. Definitely give apple butter a go- it’s where stewed apples go to heaven.
I love this recipe and post! Homemade apple butter are you kidding me! That is so delicious my mouth is watering as I type! WOW!
Hi Belle, so glad you like it!
10 months is such an adorable age! I have to remind myself constantly to enjoy the kids, especially when the little guy does things like throw my hairbrush in the toilet – he did that the other day for real!
Apple butter looks awesome by the way!
Oh my god. The toilet. I might have a little trouble staying present to that.
So glad to see you realizing this need to cherish young Oliver and all he is doing on a day to day … as I look back on my three kids and their ‘growing up years’ , I have distinct memories of being too busy and not stopping to cherish those small moments. Instead, I tended to charge on through life …
As for apple butter, I can’t believe you’re making this right now! It’s not a common recipe … and there is a strange coincidence here. I just made a nice sandwich cookie recipe that will come up on the blog tomorrow morning … it uses apple butter (that was given to me last Christmas) to make the creamy cookie filling. What a gorgeous smell it has as it simmers to that wonderful thick spread … I can practically smell all those spices coming from your kitchen!
brown
Susan, I’m headed you your site straight away for your cookie recipe- how serendipitous! And thanks for the Oliver encouragement. It’s an ongoing practice and I often catch myself mid-charge.
Hi Angela … a follow up on the apple butter consistency question. Denise’s and my apple butter is cooked all day in a slow cooker. It also contains loads of cinnamon, nutmeg, and a tad bit of cloves to ‘darken it up’ and act as a major preservative. Our recipes make six to eight cups and get sealed in canning jars and given a hot water canning bath. Then it can be stored in a cool dry place indefinitely. At the end of the day, it is the consistency of a thick mustard spread …
Ah, thanks Susan! I’ve been wondering if I could preserve the butter. You use the same preserving method as I do, it seems. I’ve got wonderful fowlers vacola preserving jars. But the more conservative preserving instructions of the last decade have made me hesitant to preserve the butter, as it doesn’t have much acid or sugar content. But perhaps it really doesn’t matter as long as the vacuum seal is sufficient… You’re still alive to report on it, so that’s a good sign!
Hi ! I just found your website and really love some of your recipes, they look delicious!
I must try some of your apple butter ! Thanks
Heh thanks, Anna (and Liz). I’ll be visiting yours just as soon as I have a moment more than I do now!
10 months old…how did that happen?
Such a wonderful post and recipe…I do love that age with all of their wonders and new finds 
I don’t know M of S, I really don’t… And thanks so much, I’m glad you liked the post.
Such a wonderful post and welcome reminder to me to get back into mindfulness, a practice I’ve slipped out of in the past few months but which has so many benefits. I’ve only recently discovered your lovely blog and I’m really enjoying your words and recipes! I’ll have to give that apple butter a try too!
Georgia, it’s a pleasure to find you here. I just checked out your blog quickly, and am headed back there with a cup of tea now to read more. It looks beautiful, can’t wait.
that’s such a beautiful post. it’s so easy to stop being mindful and get caught up with the this thats of life. thanks for reminding! also, apple butter sounds and looks delicious. is there a difference between this and an apple preserve/chutney/jam ?
Hi Angela! How are you? Thank you for suggesting this apple butter. I still have loads of apples and my friend Janet told me that I can have more, so I’ll definitely be giving this apple butter a go. I think this will make a nice present as well. Cannot wait!
Hi dear Michael, I’m good! Busy, but enjoying all the things that are keeping me busy. Are your apples quite sour? I think nice tart apples are particularly good in this butter. xx
Finally made this a couple of days ago. Utterly delicious. I put them in jars and they are part of my edible presents this year! Keeping one jar aside for me, of course.
oh Michael, it’s so nice to hear from you! I feel like I haven’t connected with you for months. Not that I don’t want to- I’ve just been in my own isolated little world over here- no time for reading blogs. But you’ve just reminded me what I’ve been missing! x